My words are being Found Easier

| it is what it is.

I think writing has been an asset for me but spelling hasn’t improved much. Seems like if I type fast enough the words will come without much thought……. it’s when I slow down that I have problems. When I have to think………

It’s hot about 100 degrees this week, I have to keep a close eye on my plants, they are suffering the heat and the wind but I may see flowers and cucumbers soon if I carefully tend them.

Work on the studio progresses slowly, I was even out there painting yesterday and the AC works hard but tomorrow I’ll get the material I need to insulate and it should be comfortable. My new fabric is at the post office to be picked up too so I’ll have some busy days ahead, Happy for that.

I found something I had written 6 years ago and wonder who I was then and am happy that is not who I am today. I’ll share it.

My mind feels light, sluggishly languishing here empty

Get old become an inconvenience

My thoughts have no weight to hold them in

they are forgotten before they are recognized

lost in the void that is my mind with no exit

to embrace only half a thought is useless to me

get old become an inconvenience

when your greatest fear is to be unloved

to be taken for a foolish melancholy woman

then you are certainly a foolish melancholy woman

melancholy thoughts bring sadness

they do not serve you well

step away

free yourself.

I got the call at 7:30am

| it is what it is.

I will be there in one hour!

OMG the building is finally here!

it’s huge and tall and I love it!

now to organize my stuff, I have messes everywhere but that’s okay I have all the time I need.

My photos aren’t uploading as they should and besides I’m beat, too much sun and wine combo today, we had to celebrate, right? So I’ll do better tomorrow as I get busy on the inside which will need insulation and drywall eventually so I can add AC and electric, poco a poco.

I will be an Artist! update 3/7/19

| it is what it is.

I was pretty happy being a nurse for many years but when I retired I had no plan for what comes next, then I read that anyone can be an artist so I thought I’m anyone, I  will be an artist.

IMG_4779 2

I am a woman wondering what comes next, open to new ideas, willing to exchange thoughts but confused and restless about who I am now in these later decades of my life.

Being a twice-retired person of meager resources and advanced age, I started out cheap, buying craft paints and board panels and skinny canvas. I painted flowers the ‘one stroke’ Donna Dewberry way. (she is the one who said anyone can paint) I had fun painting pretty flowers for children and sold them at school and community sales.

But lately, I have been watching u-tube videos of abstract painting and this is my new favorite way to paint.  I am a self-taught (artist) painter with help from U-Tube videos, Mr. Lang and Ms. Dewberry and  Mr.Tim Gagnon plus a heap of art how-to books  There is so much to learn, so many new ways to create art, I’ll need another life-time to learn all this , maybe next life?

By the way, this painting became an  amazing table! Resin was the perfect  finish!

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sold

Update 3/7/19

Still of meager resources and even yet older, Life has moved on with me to a very new reality, an old lady on wheels. And I’m loving this new life style with GiGI my gas guzzling RV and my Smart car youcandoitBabe.I’m excited to get my life in my tiny RV settled soon so I can get back to painting I’ll need to find a space, I thought perhaps I’d paint outside at the table but it is really windy here, not sure it’s always as windy as it has been here lately, maybe it calms during the summer. Other than the wind, I think this is the best place to be now, warm and snow-less.

I’m not a real neat painter but at least I won’t be messing up any one’s space other than my own, and I won’t mind cuz that’s the way I am, nothing bothers me for too long. It’s taken me awhile to come to this, it hasn’t always been easy but now is generally my way of looking at and living my life. My sloppy life style doesn’t mean I don’t care, it means I don’t care enough to let details get in the way of my peace of mind. Not everyone sees my point of view however. Live and let live please………Wow I did get off on a tangent didn’t I! Must be the fact that I’m drinking wine from the box!

Kathy’s attempt to save her garden from the heat

| it is what it is.

This foil stuff is super strong and gives shade where there was none, gusts of wind only rocked the tables I have it held onto. That is the weakness, not having anything better to attach it to.

This is the foil stuff I’m using to insulate the studio, plus cardboard.That project awaits a ladder I ordered should get here soon, thank you amazon, with my smart car there aren’t many things I can easily fit in so amazon prime has been delivering my supplies.

A neighbor saw my cover and mentioned an awning he had and until then I had not thought of an awning, that would do the job and look a lot better. I’ll look into it.

I sewed four pieces of this fabric like foil together, I should have gotten a photo of me with my sewing machine outside sewing these large sections together and stapling them to the studio wall, what a job but kinda fun. Satisfying work.

So I may get a awning when this gets blown away. This will not tear, the only thing that could happen is if the tables I have it attached to, despite being weighed down with rocks and a full watering container holding it down gets upturned by the wind. I guess if it rained really hard it could get heavy with water and pull down the tables. Today is the first time I only needed to water my plants once, not two or three times to save them from drying up from the sun.

it’s very hot, Seems it is for almost everyone everywhere. Worrisome for the future, what a world  we are leaving for posterity.

These photos are not great but gives you an idea. I’ve been lazy about writing here don’t know why, probably not having much to say.

Inside every Old Woman………

| it is what it is.

Is a young woman wishing to be heard

But life flows by so fast

almost without noticing, time has passed

suddenly you wonder

Why wasn’t I prepared to be an old woman?

Should I have taken a class?

attended a seminar?

read a book?

who would write the book?

‘How to be as old woman’

another old woman?

Are some things left better unsaid?

Do we have choices?

Yes, we have limited choices,

unlimited for those who decide

to live our best lives

whatever our age,

to contribute

write your own book

Did I tell you………

| it is what it is.

WOO HOO

Frank added electric power to my studio. So I have a fan, lights and even an outside light, it’s too hot to do more to it now my ac isn’t strong enough to combat the 100 degrees heat until I add interfacing……can’t find the right word….you know what I mean….

Anyway, he did a fine job, he had to dig a trench for the wiring in this heat. I’m pleased.

It’s quiet here, too hot to spend much time outside until late evening, then I sit out listening to music and have a glass of refreshing white, sometimes I’m joined, always welcome to come and exchange stories, listen to music.

A new addition to my “kitchen” it will be useful and doesn’t take up much space, I roll it down the aisle when I ‘m not cooking and sleep next to my veggies, I cover the drawers with a napkin to avoid fruit flies.  It works fine for me.

I’ve ordered some new Indian fabric to sew a  summer weight quilt/cover for my bed and curtains.  100% cotton .  I have a light cover that I’ll sandwich between two sides to fit my mattress.  It looks like it’ll go with the colors I have on the walls, 5 yards, I hope I have enough for curtains or pillows.  Becca laughed that I was already changing up things but what I have now will be used again when I tire of the new.  This keeps me busy and involved……..at least with myself.

Can’t seem to put the photos where they belong. !!!

Progress is slow………. but steady

| it is what it is.

I’ve been doing something wrong and don’t think I’m answering comments correctly, sorry and thanks to friends for leaving comments, it makes a difference to me to know your thoughts , ideas and suggestions about the blog. With comments on my posts I know there is someone out there reading my writings. I’ll figure it out. I was able to change my font to make the words rest easily on the eye and increased the letter size as we are getting older together and bigger is better.

Frank came this morning, ready to start the electric work but got stuck digging the trench (for the wiring) by rocks, so he went into town to get a jackhammer and hasn’t returned. He left 2 hours ago but it takes 1 hour to go and return so I’m not sure this is a one day project. When he finishes I’ll reorganize my patio space with my new colorful rugs and add a photo here.

Not so fast lady!

Frank didn’t find a jackhammer and spent some time removing rock from the trench in 100 degrees heat and will not finish the work today, he’ll ‘shoot’ for tomorrow pm. At just $20 an hour I don’t mind that he miscalculated his hours, he earned every bit and more (and it will be more) I had to move GG about 8 feet forward so now I need to get her level again, it makes me feel unsteady when not level, which I do by putting a series of blocks under her tires, no automation here.

What keeps this Old Lady so Busy?

| it is what it is.

 

Busy day yesterday,
Busy today
Busy tomorrow.
What can this old lady be so busy about?
Fixing things, painting, resin-ing stuff, and a trip into town because the RV had overpowering chemical smells and I needed to get out for a while.
I painted José’s table and did a fairly poor job resin-ing it but I didn’t expect perfection on plywood so I may or may not add another coat. Not much of it is even seen as it’s usually covered with more stuff. Just wait, my little RV is getting yet another fixer-up and I like what’s happening here! The outside waits for it’s fixer up but I did get a couple cool and colorful outdoor rugs to put out at my doorway and the studio doorway but I have to nail them to the ground so they stay here (and not get blown away in the wind, not worried about theft!)

Great news, my studio gets electric tomorrow, Frank came by today with enthusiasm an d says he can help me with the insulation as well. .Someday…. One thing at a time.
The wind continues to take a toll on my plants but a new RV moved in today next to me and they have a building too which gives me privacy and helps block some of the wind for me. All Good.
We are mostly old folks here, I have two 90+ people on either side of me( vibrant ageless people) and I think the average age (not counting them) here is about 70, I fit right in.
Truth or Consequences is a town of the elderly as well, notable when I go to shop at Walmart, lots of older women, men too but I notice the women more, probably with reason, as I can relate.

It is a beautiful area , or would be if there wasn’t so much trash and rusted out trailers and junk, lots of smaller communities with trash everywhere. Despite all that, I like it here. Here in the park, everyone keeps their area neat, I guess CJ (owner) would chase them out if they didn’t, she runs a class act here. Have I told you she is almost 80? She looks great, slim active and with many tales to tell in her daily happy hours. I don’t often attend, it’s not obligatory socialization is good but not expected, l don’t feel guilty for not attending or sharing but go now and then, to be social to hear other’s stories
I have a flag flowing off the side of my studio, makes me feel like a citizen (and GirlScout). I’ve never flown one before and feel guilty for leaving it up and not taking it down every night, no one else does here, not sure of the protocol, I probably could google it.
Heard my first mosquito last night.


Finally, I’m sitting outside listening to Nicola Di Bari love his raspy voice, the evening is overcast at 8:30 pm with a pinkish gray sky and everyone must be inside watching TV cuz I see no one around.
Listening to a beautiful song just before I go back inside, but who should appear but Becca and Dan to join me in a glass of wine, music and looking at the stars which are bright and shiny sky is clear and dark. Only one glass as the blue wine bottle is now empty, I need to get another ‘box’ of wine cuz that seems to last forever even when I regularly indulge.

 

Red Resin Curing on GG’s Kitchen Shelf

| it is what it is.

Yesterday I put a thin coat of resin on my tiny kitchen counter. The counter I’d painted black and I added red splashes over the resin, not a good idea resin got all spidery, but the resin dried and this morning I repainted the top with more red and re -resin-ed, not as nice as I’d hoped but better than I expected. The resin has a few uneven areas and is far from a perfect finish, but I’m satisfied for now, waiting for it to dry so I can clean up the sink and change the drains bits that look really used up. I should have changed the sinks too but it’s a trial to get help with that kind of work. I have a red painted board that I’ll use for extra shelf space, maybe I’ll resin that too, it’ll be easier to keep clean if I do, I have some red cups I don’t use so maybe I’ll use them to hold up the board, might work.

Now I have a pantry! I am a happy camper, over the next few days I’ll get very organized, probably move stuff around again…….and again. Thanks to Dan and Becca for helping me turn that odd space into useful space and saving me from hunting in my high cabinets for food and getting my head hit with the doors every time, really!

Yesterday I looked into the studio to see what i could do to start getting it ready to use, stuff is everywhere as I’ve been waiting to hear from ‘Frank’ to look at fixing the AC and electrifying the studio but he isn’t answering my texts. Yeah, same Frank as my roof Frank. He is a certified electrician so I’m sure he can do the job not sure he wants to, we are on mañana time here. It’s okay, no rushing to complete anything, it’s all in the doing and I have time. Anyway I put the desk chair together and put the bed down and see that the frame is bigger than the futon I bought to use for acupuncture now and then, (or a sleepover?). Looks odd but will have to do, I’ll add pillows. It fills up a quarter of the room when open.not a lot of walk around space in there, no need.

I should re-glue the tiles that fell from the bathroom wall when we went into town to fill propane………which reminds me that the hot water heater pilot must have been blown out by the wind again as I had a chilly shower this morning, need to light it again, at least I know there is plenty of gas in there………..yeah, some tiles fell and there are a couple floor tiles to re-glue too. I should do that now.

Gave myself a summer haircut today.

Short.

Maybe someday I’ll have time to get into my Shakespeare and read Don Quijote in Spanish as I so long ago planned to do. But until then I still have plenty of projects to start and finish.

Still windy.

What a Glorious evening finally no Wind!

| it is what it is.

Wish you could enjoy this evening with me sitting outside listening to my man Bocelli and enjoying a glass of wine, with the sound of crickets debating with my music. It’s an overcast evening can’t see many stars sitting here under the mesquite Tree.

Busy day today finally have a full tank of propane but haven’t lit my water heater yet,okay I tried but couldn’t, it was getting dark I’ll do it in the morning no problem.

I told myself I was going to spend my evening listening to music instead of on my computer, I don’t have tv but do watch a movie on my computer now and again and think I’d sleep better if I turned off electronics earlier but here I am outside listening while writing on my iPad. I just wanted to drop a note here, I’ll finish this tomorrow.

Ive been able to listen loudly because almost no one is in the park, people just leave their rv here and take off for parts unknown and come back when they do, I’ll do that someday probably but I still need to get something to tow ‘youcandoitbabe’ I have too much to do here first.

I have to tell you, I am so glad to be where I am, both psychologically and geographically

Good night