Aging

APC_0024.jpgAs we age,  we look, feel and act differently than we did when younger,  do we have lower expectations of ourselves as we get older.?

I wonder about it because I’m not sure

I find myself diminished by my age.

I try to greet that old woman in the mirror with a smile, just before I put my teeth in my mouth and scold myself for the  need of a bridge

I’m having trouble finding myself.

Who am I now in this phase of life, no longer a nurse, no longer a spouse, a mother not needed and even in the way, without a lover or friend.

A time to contemplate and refresh, but I find myself filling my hours with busyness.

I like my busy-ness, I like making, but is it an escape from thinking  and making decisions?

I have a comfortable space with no real problems but those I invent in my mind.

Torn between staying in my comfort zone or reaching out for more, more opportunity more social interaction, more satisfaction, or remain where I am, where I can help my daughter  while my soul dies quietly in the basement,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s