Hello Old Lady of the Mirrors

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As we age,  do we look,  feel and act differently to ourselves than we did when younger?

Do we have less expectations of ourselves as we get older.?

I asked my Mother and an Aunt, both in their late 80’s if they felt or thought any different compared to their younger selves and both said no, they felt just as they always have.

Dumb question, right answer

I’ve wondered about it because I’m not sure I could answer the same.

I sometimes feel myself diminished by my age.

I hope it is a passing artifact of life’s changes, surely I  am a reasonable woman with a healthy respect for aging, even my own.

But I greet that old woman in the mirror with a surprised smile, Hello old lady in the mirror  and I put my teeth in my mouth,  dentures being another thing we don’t talk about even early in the morning.

I sometimes have trouble finding myself.

Who am I now in this phase of life, no longer a nurse, no longer a spouse, a mother not needed and even in the way, without lover or friend.

A time to contemplate and refresh, but I find myself filling my hours with busyness.

I like making, but is it an escape from thinking  and making decisions? I need a plan.

I will find a plan,

a passion

I have a comfortable space with no real problems but those I invent in my mind.

Torn between staying in my comfort zone or reaching out for more, more opportunity more social interaction, more satisfaction, or remain where I am, where I can help my  family  while my soul dies quietly in the basement,

 

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