My words are being Found Easier

I think writing has been an asset for me but spelling hasn’t improved much. Seems like if I type fast enough the words will come without much thought……. it’s when I slow down that I have problems. When I have to think………

It’s hot about 100 degrees this week, I have to keep a close eye on my plants, they are suffering the heat and the wind but I may see flowers and cucumbers soon if I carefully tend them.

Work on the studio progresses slowly, I was even out there painting yesterday and the AC works hard but tomorrow I’ll get the material I need to insulate and it should be comfortable. My new fabric is at the post office to be picked up too so I’ll have some busy days ahead, Happy for that.

I found something I had written 6 years ago and wonder who I was then and am happy that is not who I am today. I’ll share it.

My mind feels light, sluggishly languishing here empty

Get old become an inconvenience

My thoughts have no weight to hold them in

they are forgotten before they are recognized

lost in the void that is my mind with no exit

to embrace only half a thought is useless to me

get old become an inconvenience

when your greatest fear is to be unloved

to be taken for a foolish melancholy woman

then you are certainly a foolish melancholy woman

melancholy thoughts bring sadness

they do not serve you well

step away

free yourself.

Inside every Old Woman………

Is a young woman wishing to be heard

But life flows by so fast

almost without noticing, time has passed

suddenly you wonder

Why wasn’t I prepared to be an old woman?

Should I have taken a class?

attended a seminar?

read a book?

who would write the book?

‘How to be as old woman’

another old woman?

Are some things left better unsaid?

Do we have choices?

Yes, we have limited choices,

unlimited for those who decide

to live our best lives

whatever our age,

to contribute

write your own book

Ojalá (O hah lah)

I use this word a lot to express hope, it’s a word borrowed from Arabic toSpanish and I like how it feels on my tongue and seems to express just what I mean, except when it is not understood. So that’s why it’s here today. Feel free to use it!

I think I’ve listened to Bocelli’s cd SI about 4 times today, puts me in a reflective mood.

‘If only we could turn back time’

I used a mud facial that my daughter sent me some time ago, teal colored mud for 20 minutes, that much attention to my face is disappointing, the dry air here and spending more time outside in the sun has left it’s mark on my face , but then I am old, I don’t enjoy my wrinkles and sagging skin but here I am, alive and kicking down barriers and though I look pensive, old and unhappy, it’s all about the light and attitude.

quite a difference ! Which is my reality? A bit of both I guess, this means I must stay in the light and have a good attitude! It’s all we have now, what do you think?

smile

Hail on Roof

OH, I have to tell you what happened yesterday! We had a fierce hail storm, and I think everyone in the park was thinking about my roof, or rather the leak in it. Frank got here just in time to seal the leak before it started raining and the hail falling. Thank Goodness because it would have been a disaster for me and GG, I would not soon forget. Frank will come back to do a more permanent fix and he will fix my air conditioner and power up my studio.
I hope.
Other park people here don’t have as much trust in him as I do, but I like talking with him, he’s an interesting old guy from Germany, (but not as old as I) he has 9 doberman dogs (puppies) is an electrician, and says that if he falls off my roof he will land on his feet as he did gymnastics in Germany and can still do his flips…..or whatever. Then I noticed he had a bottle of beer in his hand I wasn’t sure if he had it while up top but I wonder if pot is not his only habit.
Oh well!

Tomorrow morning I go to El Paso to pick up my car finally, that will take up the morning and then I want to take GG in town to fill my propane tank and learn how to set up the connectors to a separate propane tank as back up so I don’t have to move GG whenever I run out of propane. So today in preparation for the move I replaced the cabinet doors that I’d taken down in frustration when organizing my ‘pantry’ (so the doors wouldn’t fall on my head) putting them back up was harder than taking down but it needed to be done or everything would fall out whenever I turned a corner, …….I hope she starts, I haven’t started her up in quite a while.

I have a new acupuncture client, sciatica problem, I hope I can help him but he has had the problem a while, may take some time.

I haven’t done much with the studio yet, just moving stuff over there. The building protects my plants from the wind if I keep them behind it and that makes me happy so maybe they have a chance. I hope to see morning glories climbing up the wall and sunflowers and zinnias should be blooming soon if I can protect them from the wind.

.
I’m feeling enthusiastic about the changes I’m making, I have lots of ideas in mind for both GG and my studio and excited to get on with it now

It will be good.

I got the call at 7:30am

I will be there in one hour!

OMG the building is finally here!

it’s huge and tall and I love it!

now to organize my stuff, I have messes everywhere but that’s okay I have all the time I need.

My photos aren’t uploading as they should and besides I’m beat, too much sun and wine combo today, we had to celebrate, right? So I’ll do better tomorrow as I get busy on the inside which will need insulation and drywall eventually so I can add AC and electric, poco a poco.

The wind laughs at me

I was looking on Amazon for about an hour today looking at those cool cantilevered umbrellas that would look so nice here. Really, about an hour when suddenly the RV shook in the wind. And I remembered that I had not seen even a single patio umbrella anywhere here. The wind! Glad the wind called to me laughing, ‘fool if I can move the RV with you in it an umbrella?……………in time for me to stop the order.

We shared our Thoughts and our Stories today

She came to spend some time with me, on this hot and boring Sunday

She brought with her a bottle of wine and 2 glasses

She often tells me her stories

today I told her some of mine

I’d not told anyone those stories,

they were only mine to remember

I confided,

finally who am I and what have I done.

and why

was it the wine?

it was not the wine.

I was ready to tell her my story

I granted her the in sight to hear my story

not judge my story,

or me,

but just to listen

despite our differences of space and time

What is a friend but one to listen

someone you can trust with your stories.

Maybe some day I can tell my stories to you.

Ode to my Grandchildren

I remember the moment you were born

The excitement of a newborn baby

A cherished new family member

A new mark on the calendars

You are loved every single day

Not only your day marked on my calendar

So please forgive a forgetful grandma

If I neglect your day

And know that I remember and love you every single day of the year.

Here I would put a photo of my grandchildren but my daughter won’t let me add their photos , they know who they are and I hope they know how much I love them